Journalling to self-care

I am a journallor and have been for most of my life. Writing is a natural outlet to me. I’ve used journalling as a spiritual tool in my Christian journey, it has helped me to track with the ups and downs and roundabouts of learning and growing in my faith. Journalling has no doubt helped me to learn more about who I am and how I tick.

Journalling has been most beneficial to me when I have written with a voice of love towards myself and others. Because let’s be honest, journalling can be a place where we secretly just regurgitate our complaints and moans and whinges. For quite a number of years, I used journalling as my “creative whining platform”, as I like to call it. This was not helpful, but instead kept me stuck in my whirlwind of emotions and negative thoughts.

For journalling to be most helpful, there needs to be some forward momentum in the writing process. Splurge your emotions and thoughts, absolutely. This is definitely a place to do so. Julia Cameron wrote a book called “The Artist’s Way” and advocates for writing what she calls ‘morning pages’, essentially writing your stream of consciousness first thing in the morning, in order to clear your brain of any murky mudiness before getting on with your day.

Just getting stuff out of your brain and onto the page can be incredibly useful. But I would encourage you not to set up figurative camp in that place. Instead, when you’re ready, be curious about examining the attitude of your heart and mind as you read over your writing. Using journalling to make meaning of our experiences is where we gain the most benefits.

Journalling as a parent is great because it’s one thing that is entirely for you, a needed slice of self-focus in an otherwise almost entirely outward focused life! I believe it’s self-care.

Journalling increases self-awareness, something we need more of in order to grow emotionally and in parenting. There’s something about a belief or thought or experience being written down for ourselves to see. It helps us to take a more critical, reflective look at what is now in black and white, and perhaps if we’re feeling brave, we can do a little self-evaluation or check-in.

What can detract from journalling is when we make it a weapon to beat ourselves up with. If you decide to journal, do it because you want to and not because you “should” or “must”. Yes, the benefits are vey real, but only when it is something you truly have a desire to do and you get enjoyment from. Beware that your brain will try to make a whole list of rules for your to follow! For example; I must write neatly, I must write everyday, I must write in the same pen each time I journal… the list of rules we can make for ourselves could be endless!!

It’s worth thinking about how you can best enjoy journalling without giving yourself unnecessary rules.

What will make this an ongoing joy for you?

Here are some ideas to start with if you’re not sure how

Buy a journal. You can buy a relatively inexpensive pretty journal from a stationery shop, or you can buy an exercise book and have fun collaging your own cover. I several of both of these types of journals.

Buy a few colour pens, if it helps. This is personal preference only. I have journals with little drawings in (I really can’t draw, but I don’t care, because this is just for me!). Sometimes it’s just fun to write in different colours when I feel in the mood. Or just blue or just black is also fine.

Process something. So, next time you listen to a podcast, or go to a talk, have a discussion with friends, see something beautiful, or have something make you laugh or cry, journal about it.

Use processing questions to think about and “chew on” an experience.  It can aid your thinking and exploring in fun and funny ways, or help you go deeper. What happened? What makes it noteworthy to you? What did you like/not like about it? What are you learning? Is there an image or summary word that comes to mind to describe your experience?

Here is one set of processing questions you could use.

Journalling emotions

If you have trouble experiencing your own emotions and processing them, consider keeping a journal. This is to write with gentle self-reflections on noticing yourself; your bodily sensations, your reactions, your thoughts and how you might practice compassion on yourself.

Here are some prompts to help you if you need it…

I noticed today that my body felt…

My body matched/did not match my mood (be specific how)

My thoughts were…

I think the main feelings I experienced today were…

I think I need… (practice compassion on yourself, and/or reach out for help)

You could add to this how your own emotional journey through the day impacted upon your children and others around you and vice versa.

Don’t judge it! Just notice it!

Lastly, journalling is not for everyone and that is just fine. If it doesn’t grab you, walk away, there may be another tool out there that will help you achieve similar benefits to journalling. It could be exercise or painting or woodwork. Have fun exploring!