The impossible job
“You try to be a good parent, in every way, but you never know how. It’s not a difficult job. Just impossible.”
from Us Against You by Frederik Backman.
This quote is from a fictional novel, but I think there is so much truth in it. How often we feel like we’ve gotten to grips with a certain stage of our child’s development and we feel we know where we are, only to have them move on. Plunging us straight back into unchartered waters again.
At the end of this month, our family officially heads into unchartered waters of teenagedom. It’s new, it’s confronting. For me anyway, because decision making feels a bit different somehow, more weighty.
Right now, I don’t know how. There are moments it feels impossible.
How do we do something impossible? Together. I take huge comfort from the fact that several of our close friends have been successfully charting these waters for years now and they have a lot of practice wisdom to share.
Whatever stage your child is in in their development, you might be feeling it’s impossible. It might be new challenges arising. It might be that what you relied upon before just isn’t working any more.
Don’t try and do it all alone. Find community where you can be together in this parenting journey. Draw on your friends’ practice wisdom. Join a parenting course, there are so many online and in person. I would recommend finding one that emphasises interaction and dialogue, not just one way teaching, as interactions build togetherness. Socialise with other parents who have children slightly older than you, and listen. Learn from their mistakes and their successes.
Also, watch this space. I will run several more Real Talk: Parent Conversation Sessions during this year. These are small, discussion based groups held over 4 consecutive weeks where we explore our experiences of being parented and parenting. A comment that parents often make at the end of the group about it’s value is that they feel less alone.
As one parent said in feedback;
It’s a safe environment to speak, to be heard, understood and to know I am not alone in this.
Parenting is not impossible if we do it together.
