An interview about starting high school part 1.1

An interview about starting High School Part 1

Starting High School is like how different people experience fireworks. Exciting, new, wonderful or scary and overwhelming. Or perhaps even a bit of both!

If your child is starting High School in 2023, there may be some useful tidbits of information in this interview for them!

I sat down with an amazing young person who started high school in the middle of the pandemic and she had some lovely wisdom to share with others starting out their high school journeys.

What would your advice be for new grade 8s?

Remember that everyone is new, everyone is having a new start. Just talk to people and get to know people. In grade 8 the academic pressure is less than other grades in high school so focus on making friends first.

Have the confidence to talk to people. You can do this by reading their energy (are they open to chat, or not), and then decide whether to approach them or not.

And when you have those orientation activities, engage in the ice breakers! Even if they’re awkward! It’s another way to meet people.

What was the hardest thing for you in grade 8?

It was really difficult in the pandemic with lockdown. We couldn’t do all the activities and sports we would have done. It was really different from my expectations.

There just wasn’t as much interactions as there could have been due to social distancing. There were those dots on the field, 1.5m apart right at the start. There was no hugging allowed, for nearly 2 years.

In online school, you just didn’t get to know people. This was not a great start to a new school! Because you couldn’t interact with people closely, it took much longer to get to really know people. People got less used to in-person interactions and so some people were fine and interactive online, but not in person. You could see for some people it was harder for them to get used to new people in person.

What is the biggest difference between primary and high school for you?

In high school I think the teachers are more relaxed, and you can interact with them more. They don’t patronise you. And they know a lot more about adolescent issues. In primary school things tend to be a lot more rule-focused and you get into trouble for small things.

And academically?

You do need to study because the work is more difficult but, don’t stress about marks.

Thank you to this young person who shared her experiences and thoughts with me, I really appreciate it!

Make sure that you read Part 2 next week for some really great thoughts on new friendships in high school!

Some ideas of how and where to find help if you’re feeling anxious about High School.

Find an adult or older young person who you trust to talk to. Maybe you feel like your worries are trivial, they’re not. It is completely normal to feel nervous about a whole new stage of life, even if you’re moving to High School with some of your friends! Sometimes just speaking out your worries or concerns can help.

Also remember this, sometimes we have “anticipatory anxiety” where we dread the unknown of what is to come more than the actual event itself. This anticipatory anxiety can feel quite heavy, even though it is totally and completely normal. Name what it is, even speak it out loud to yourself. “This feels like I am dreading the unknown, I think this is anticipatory anxiety. It doesn’t feel great, but I can get through this.”

Make a list of things that you can do to help you feel calm and try to do these regularly. Journal, chat with friends, exercise, make your favourite food, do deep breathing, laugh or whatever other coping option you use that helps you feel good after doing it. Make a plan about how you will deal with any anxiety, write your plan down and share it with someone you trust.

If you’re feeling like what you’re going through is a bit more than anticipatory anxiety or nerves, it is really important to get help. Many high schools have school counsellors on site. Don’t be afraid to visit them!

If there is no one at home who you feel you can speak to, there are phone or online counselling services available.

Childline’s new number is 116  (It is also a counselling service and not only for reporting abuse.) This is toll-free and available 24 hours a day. 

Life Line’s number is 0861-322-322. Also toll-free and available 24 hours a day.

SADAG – South African Depression and Anxiety Group has several numbers. The 24 hour suicide helpline is 0800 567 567.

The 24 hour general helpline is 0800 456 789.

There is also a WhatsApp chatline 076 882 2775

SADAG has a comprehensive website with lots of information, including videos and brochures on anxiety, depression and other mental health issues. Even if you feel it doesn’t apply to you, it might be useful for passing on to a friend or when you need to support a friend or loved one! You can check out the website here. www.sadag.org.

Thank you, please call again soon!

16 December 2024 Thank you I am so thankful to do what I do. I absolutely love my job, I love working with kids, I love working with parents. Yes, that is YOU! If I could sit and write a note of gratitude to each of you, I would. And my gratitude is about this;…

Read More

Endings

1 December 2024 It has been a week of lasts for our family as our youngest child finished primary school. I am struggling to process these words as I type them. We no longer have a kid in primary school. We will no longer be returning to Clifton Notties as parents. It’s crazy. Clifton Notties…

Read More

The ability to respond

23 November 2024 David Whyte, an Irish poet says that the word responsibility means “the ability to respond”. He says that we (adults) have made responsibility a heavy burden; all the things that we have to lug around and take care of, we think about work, home and financial responsibilities. We think about our responsibility…

Read More

Introducing a small project with mighty results.

15 November 2024 On any given weekday afternoon, you can arrive at Ethembeni’s Family Centre in Mpophomeni, the home of the Education Support programme (Ed Support) and find between 60 and 70 children ages 5 to 21 years engaged in meaningful academic activities. Facilitators are trusted, caring adults who lead small groups of about 15…

Read More

Good Enough

1 November It’s the first day of the second to last day of the year, how are you? Let’s all just take a deep breath. NICE! I admit to borrowing liberally from someone else’s post today, and it’s just too good not to share. Peter Gray is a Research Psychologist and neuroscientist at Boston College.…

Read More

Am I the problem?

25 October 2024 I don’t take lightly the fact that dozens of parents each year take the step to make an appointment with me and talk about the need for play therapy for their child. For some, this can be an incredibly vulnerable space. Perhaps because of the turmoil they’re going through. Perhaps because it’s…

Read More

Four Harms of a screen-based childhood: Learning from The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

18 October 2024 As promised in my post a few weeks ago, I am unpacking some of my learning from reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. In chapter 5 of the book he looks at 4 major harms caused by social media, online gaming and increased screen-based childhood in general. The four harms are social deprivation,…

Read More

Mental Health Awareness Month: Spotlight on Men

11 October 2024 It is Mental Health Awareness Month in October. The Masiviwe project has produced a video highlighting men’s mental health. One of the men interviewed states: “If you’re a man, you don’t cry. The question is; if you’re going through pain, where do you go? In your childhood you used to cry. Today,…

Read More

On Not Being Polite

4 October 2024   I have been telling my children recently when not to be polite. Don’t let people walk all over you – if sports is a metaphor for life… On the sports field, don’t be polite. You don’t say “please” when trying to get the ball away from your opponent. One hockey match, I…

Read More

Awe

27 September 2024 We spent part of the holiday in a cottage in a wood (literally) and got happily snowed in (literally), but only for 24 hours. For a family like ours, born and bred in mostly the sub-tropical parts of South Africa, the snow was a delightful, awe-inspiring experience. We saw the snow forecast…

Read More