Attachment, Connection and Harmful Sexual Behaviour

Recently I had a discussion with two colleagues, Simone Oberholzer and Sandy Meyer about how attachment and connection impact harmful sexual behaviour (HSB).

I have been writing about HSB (also referred to as inappropriate/problematic sexual behaviour) a lot more recently. You can read other articles here (where I talk about the new project I am working on with colleagues). Here (where I give some tips for talking to children about their bodies) and here (one family's story of harmful sexual behaviour).

In this video (link to YouTube below), we sit and talk about how attachment and connection can be such a protective force for children in so many ways. When we are connected to our children, we can have the hard conversations that contribute to keeping them safe and/or enable them to come to us when something has gone wrong. We talk about how it is never too late to keep working on building emotional connection with your child, and how important it is at every point of their development.

We talk about how difficult it is for parents when a child acts out sexually, how emotions of disbelief, shame and even disgust can come to the surface, and how this can impact the relationship between parent and child - even within a very healthy, attached relationship. And, how difficult it can be to go for help.

We encourage parents to get help and to talk to a supportive professional if any HSB concerns arise, or if you are wanting help to talk to your child about their body.

Please comment, ask questions or share your experiences by emailing me on playtherapy@smallbones.com. We would love to hear from you!

You can find out more about Simone at her website here: https://thekindcentre.co.za/