Guiding your child through a natural disaster
Generosity and compassion are powerful to move us out of anxiety and into a response that can help others at times like this.
Our province of KwaZulu-Natal has had it’s biggest natural disaster since the 1987 floods, which killed over 500 people. This time, its 443 and counting (but statistics vary according to different reports), at least 63 people still missing and over 13 000 households have been affected, close to 4 000 homes totally destroyed, and just over 8 000 homes partially destroyed.
Very sobering to read these numbers. And especially when I layer the human experience, and the child’s experience on top of that. This is large-scale trauma.
One of the major differences between the 1987 floods and today is that today, with social media and news online 24/7, the feedback of information and devastation is instant, and constant. In 1987, it took some weeks for most people to see the full impact of the floods across the province. This, in many ways, is a healthier scenario for us as humans to deal with. The horror of the event comes into our awareness bit by bit, we might cope with it at a more manageable pace.
Today, the deluge of information doesn’t give us a chance to catch our breath.
The upside of the speed at which we are informed is that we can move towards supporting those who suffer much more quickly. It is helpful to see organisations with boots on the ground getting emergency supplies to those most in need, and to be able to contribute to this.
Just a reminder that in times like this, to be mindful of what your children see and hear.
Watch their media-intake (and your own, if you’re struggling with anxiety at this time). Having the news on continuously while your kids are around may be harmful to them. It can increase anxiety as it makes the world feel unsafe and uncontained for them. Think carefully about how much they can handle.
Talk to them about it, because more than likely it will be spoken about at school by peers and/or teachers. Talk about the facts with compassion, talk about what is being done to help and keep drama and heavy emotion out of it. Teachers may talk about current events in ways that are helpful and informative, but peers maybe not so much! Peers may share the worst horror stories they have overheard which may or may not be true, and this could be distressing.
If your family has been directly affected, there will be a direct impact of trauma and loss for you and a lot of emotion will be normal. If your family has been directly impacted, trying to return a sense of safety, routine and normalcy is important. Emotional connection with people children trust is critical during the aftermath of trauma.
This week, it was reported in the local community paper about a local family who were all swept away, this is a massive tragedy. It is unimaginable and my prayers are with this family, and others who I have heard of over the past week.
A helpful thing we could do with our children is talk about how as a family we could contribute to helping people at this time. Generosity and compassion are powerful to move us out of anxiety and into a response that can help others at times like this. Even if your child hasn’t experienced this disaster as a trauma to themselves, they can be aware that a very small thing they do can make a difference to someone else in a time of need.
