Myths about Play #1

In April I am looking at some myths around play, and what experts and research can tell us about the truth about play instead.

Myth #1 Play means providing entertainment and having money.

Play has become about consumerism. What will we get, how will we be entertained, who is going to provide the entertainment for me?

And isn't it interesting that the more money people have to spend on entertaining their children, the more quickly they seem to get bored? Toys get quickly discarded after Christmas or birthdays. Whole play rooms are unused, full of toys that children just don't play with.

Toys in themselves are not bad or wrong, at all. There are many brilliant toys that enable hours and hours of play. But less is more. A child doesn't need a room full of toys to be able to play. Here is the link to a research article on the impact of number of toys in a playroom on toddler's play.

A child also doesn't need constant entertaining at the mall. Although, it can be such a treat to have an experience from time to time. But this is not necessary and certainly not ultimately satisfying the child's need for play.

When play is constantly externally sourced, it is more about what one can get rather than what one can contribute. This takes the creativity and 'ownership' out of the play experience. So, what do children need when it comes to play?

Play needs SPACE

Quite simply, as adults we need to make space for play to happen. I don't mean having a large house or garden, but I do mean setting aside space in your house and/or garden where children can safely play.

For very young ones, this can mean being at your feet in the kitchen while you are working they can be busy with pots, pans and wooden spoons. Allow your living space to be taken over by fort-making. In the garden, a 'mud kitchen' costs nothing but some water mixed with soil.

Allowing a bit of your home to become messy as children play around where you are I know can be a challenge for some who work incredibly hard and don't want to deal with more mess. Work within what you can tolerate - if you can't tolerate the living space becoming a fort, let them use a bedroom to make a fort.

By space, I am also referring to the quality time needed to devote to play. During busy term times, children are not in charge of their own schedules and many can find this exhausting. They go from a busy school day to organised extra murals most afternoons. The pace of a child's life very often matches that of an adult pace of life, with a crammed schedule and little down time.

Children who love to be creative and needs lots of time to do so, need lots of quality time to play. Particularly introverted children who need time alone playing. This brings to mind children who love playing Lego and will play alone for hours creating worlds.

I loved what one parent decided when her son was having great difficulty adjusting to a new grade at the start of the year. She simply did not do homework for a few weeks whilst he settled in to the new class routine. She communicated with the teacher and explained why. I wholeheartedly support this type of decision given the individual needs of the child and they way he was really, really not coping with the changes. He has since adjusted beautifully, school work and homework are on track. More was achieved by giving him as much space as possible to adjust and simply "be" after each day at school than if mom had forced him to tick all the boxes and get the homework done. Why? Because instead of doing homework, he PLAYED.

Play needs SAFETY

When children are very little, the parent is the safe space. However, it is unrealistic and unhealthy for parents to constantly monitor older children in their play as they grow. Children need increasing degrees of independence and less supervision as they get older.

Outdoor, self-directed play is so important for developing independence and resilience in children as they grow through middle childhood and into adolescence. In the old days, children would congregate on the neighbourhood streets to find their friends and play. Riding bikes around, or going to the local park together. Today, only 29% of South Africa's children have access to safe play areas (UNICEF).

Residential streets should be reclaimed so children can go back to playing in spaces close to home and under the watchful eye of the community.

Maliga Naidoo, Director of the Academy of Leisure Sciences South Africa

We are sorely lacking in protected spaces beyond our own walls for children to play together. Somehow, we need to find ways to make play spaces safe. This may mean getting together with other parents on your street or in your area and making intentional plans to monitor children playing together in public spaces, it requires a bit more working together, but I argue that it is extremely necessary to do so.

For families who can't, or don't want to spend huge amounts of money on entertainment, making safe spaces for children to play is free, and also good for children.

Instead of spending lots of money on play, I advocate that play needs space, quality time and safety. What do you think??