Permission to rest
I feel that one of the most helpful lessons I have learned in the past 10 years is how to attune to my needs for rest and reflection at the right time for me. Rest is not necessarily about completely stopping all activity and taking a duvet day (although sometimes that is entirely appropriate and necessary!). Rest can be active, because we know that at certain stages of parenting there is not much of a break. If you’re breastfeeding a baby, or toilet training a toddler, for example, the work is relentless and very physical.
Rest is not always the absence of activity. In music, a rest is defined as an interval of silence of a specified duration. It is purposefully written into the music to enhance the piece.
In our daily lives, rest is reflecting on what is happening or what you’re preparing for and thinking about ways to manage the energy you have available for the work that needs to be done. It could even be taken in a few moments in a day, when you drink a cup of tea stop your activities and just sit with the cup of tea and be still.
A friend gave this lovely piece of wisdom just the other day. On days when things might be especially busy, slow yourself down. We feel the pressure of a busy diary and so we tend to rush, thinking that we will get through it all more effectively and efficiently if we hurry along. But this is more tiring mentally and physically because we have a constant voice in our head going “Faster, faster, faster. Look, there’s so much to do!” We find ourselves working from a place of near panic, rather than a place of calm.
Be conscious to stop and take deep breaths. Slow your talking down by taking pauses and not rushing through your words. Pauses give a chance for creative thoughts to flourish. Taking a slower drive to your next destination can allow you to ready yourself for what’s next. Be like the sloth. Slow down, conserve energy.
My working life in recent months has take unexpected but very pleasant turns. I find myself in a position of needing to reflect on the energy I have for the work I have before me every week. One of the things I always delighted in is writing the weekly blog. I love it. I really enjoy the thinking and writing process. But it does take quite a lot of time. I can’t write with noise and distractions. I love to be alone, to feel comfortable and at ease to write and re-write. Hours and hours go into writing most blog posts. Some weeks can be really quiet and spacious and therefore conducive to writing. Other weeks, not so much.
With the gear change I have experienced in recent months, I am finding it harder to carve out a decent amount of time to write. A lot of blogs have been written at 4am on the morning they’re released into the world. Even these experiences I really enjoy because of the solitude and stillness, but it is tiring. And again, if rest has to do with managing energy, then I need to take stock right now of what I am saying yes to and what I am saying no to.
In this context, I’ve given myself permission to write a blog twice a month rather than weekly from now on.
I wanted to share my process and my story because I think we can often fall into a trap of what we think we “must” or “have to” do. I am so much more than what I “produce” out there in the world. I do want to produce tangible things that show I have been here, in this world making a difference. I think most people want that in one way or another. But I won’t ever rest if I define myself by this.
Is there something you feel you “have to” “must” do that actually is sapping your energy that is much needed elsewhere at this time? What could you be needing to take a rest from in order to regroup and refocus? What are you giving yourself permission to rest from, or for?
