Self compassion
When we come face to face with our own faults, if we look at them through a lens of self-compassion, we have more energy and capacity to change.
I need to look after myself so that I can teach my kids how to and so that I have something in my cup to give them when they need it.
(Real Talk: Parent Conversation Session participant feedback)
In the Parent Conversation sessions, we spend time focusing on self-care and self-nurturing.
Self-care is small everyday acts of kindness towards ourselves that can help bring a little joy.
Self-nurturing is similar, but focuses on the emotion of compassion, allowing the same compassion we have for others/our kids to rise up towards ourselves. Self-nurturing is an attitude that we can foster towards ourselves, no matter where we’re at in ourselves.
When we come face to face with our own faults, if we look at them through a lens of self-compassion, we have more energy and capacity to change. A lack of compassion can lead us to feeling hard, brittle, and broken and we then tend to focus on our parental guilt and failures.
It’s ok. We all have our days when we’re going “I messed up. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.”
But what if the internal conversation could shift towards…”Yikes. (DEEP breath) Look how I’ve reacted again. (DEEP breath) I wonder what’s happening with me that I reacted that way? (Curious, gentle question)”
If I were my own Fairy Godmother, what would I want to magically give myself right now?
My challenge to parents is to talk to yourself with the same level of compassion and care as you would to your child or others who are really needing kindness. This is not opting out of the hard work of change and growth, this is embracing it. I believe that where we need compassion the most is also our most significant point of pain and point of change.
What is your most gentle, kind encouragement you can give yourself today?
PS: The next round of Parent Conversation Sessions is coming up on Thursdays in August! Click here to join the registration waitlist.
