The Story of Fresh Hope

Just before we dive into it, don't forget about the upcoming Workshop!

The Myth of the "Wondermom"

When I first became a mom, I wasn’t the mom I thought I would be. Instead of being the warm, maternal “Wondermom”, I was exhausted, emotional and depleted. Babies were not cute and cuddly and convenient. They felt like life-sucking forces of insatiable need.

I married at 29, had our first baby at 33. I was used to a lot of freedom and independence. I worked in tough spaces and needed time alone with my introverted self to regroup. I read a lot of books and spent time alone and with my people to recharge.

Babies destroyed the whole rhythm of my world. Once I had one and then the other very shortly after (they’re 14 months apart), I had no secure base to return to in order to replenish myself. (Yes, I did have my amazing husband, but he was new to this too. He was dealing with work stress things on top of baby things. We were in the trenches together but still needing to work out this parenting thing for ourselves as individuals.)

I saw other moms around me relishing the baby stage, just absolutely loving it, so naturally I thought “What’s wrong with me?” Becoming a mom changed the way I thought about myself in a negative way for a while. I realise now that one of my first mistakes was believing in such a concept as “Wondermom”. There is no such person, or concept. We are all 100% human. My growth in the last few years has been around accepting this as a fact, and has been hugely freeing in my life.

What is Hope?

The journey between feeling like a sub-par mother and accepting that I am a human person was hard. Especially in the early years I felt like I did a lot of it alone. Not physically alone, I have an amazing support system, but emotionally alone as I tried to figure things out.

I felt glimmers of hope as I learned more about myself, and why some things in parenting were hard for me and why other things came more naturally. I felt more hope when receiving encouragement from other more seasoned parents, and learned to recognise what I was doing well.

I was deeply encouraged when I really realised that “Wondermom” was never the goal, and all I had to be was myself.

Brene Brown says that hope is not an emotion, it is a way of thinking about our circumstances. When I had an expectation of myself to be “Wondermom” I was exhausted and ran out of hope pretty quickly. I couldn’t see it as a learning experience for myself because I believed to be good at mothering (or anything), it had to come naturally.

You may be struggling with your current circumstances as a parent, whether your own personal issues or your child’s struggles or developmental stage. You may tell yourself that this means you are not a good parent.
Hope is defined as to cherish a desire with anticipation : to want something to happen or be true. (Merriam-Webster online dictionary). Hope is described in the Bible as having a confident expectation of good.

Introducing Fresh Hope

I named my business Fresh Hope. I believe names are important, and this comes from a place of desiring to be an encouragement to parents; to be a place of confident expectations of good things happening even in tough spaces. In Fresh Hope I want to be a parental cheerleader; you can be a good enough parent or an even better parent, you can learn how to emotionally connect with your child, you can learn how to take care of yourself even as you take care of your family.

While the term “cheerleader” may seem fluffy, I believe holding fresh hope is anything but that. Sometimes as parents we are in dark spaces, where we can’t see hope. I believe part of my purpose is to hold on to hope on behalf of another.

I do this for myself, and for others, by being intentionally thankful. Gratitude cultivates hope. Looking for the treasure in people grows hope for me on an almost daily basis. Sometimes we want to see huge change happen, but transformation is most often in tiny increments, and often hidden from public view.
My hope is in knowing growth is always happening, even if it can’t be seen immediately.

Looking Forward in Hope

As we move further into the third month of the year, you may be feeling weary at situations that don’t seem to be shifting. Or feeling the slump of week 7 of the school term. Or disappointed that hopes for the start of 2025 haven’t (yet) been fulfilled. Also, the world’s mess may feel overwhelming (that’s a whole ‘nother story).
I want to take a journey with you into Fresh Hope in the month of March. I would love you to join me! Start this week with thinking of everything and everyone you are grateful for. I am so grateful my two babies are teenagers now and I'm not sure I could love them more!