The Void

Mental health and accessing emotional support are more talked about, blogged about and written about in every media available to us these days. And yet, stigma around actually attending therapy or play therapy seems to linger.

A concern many parents have when we sit in consultation is that they don't want their child to think something is wrong with me because they're coming to play therapy.

Play therapy is not only available when something is "wrong". Many children with no significant traumas or adverse events come to play therapy and benefit from it. Play therapy is a way of helping children connect with their true self, the ultimate goal no matter what the referral issue is.

You don't go to school because something is wrong with you, you go to school because your parents want you out of the house a few hours a day... Just kidding! (also not kidding all the time!😉)

Children go to school because there is a void in learning and knowledge that needs to be filled that will contribute to your overall development. Slowly, over 12 years in school, some of those voids are filled. Most importantly, in the foundation phases it is learning to read and write. The basis for all other learning.

Void: meaning gap or empty space, not inhabited.

Referrals to play therapy occur because there is a void in social or emotional functioning that tends to cause issues in other parts of life. Or, there is something happening in the child's environment/family that causes a void in social or emotional functioning.

Void doesn’t mean deficiency. Void means opportunity for development. Void means; I feel like I've lost a part of myself and I need help finding it in the middle of everything else that's happening in my world.

Children recognise the void in themselves. Many, once they have been to play therapy, recognise how the process supports them. They experience some growth and they exit. As they grow and develop, they may hit another void. They now know that play therapy helped them to feel supported, heard, and helped them find themselves. They ask their parents if they can return.

I sat with a little girl in her first ever play therapy session recently. We talked a bit about the worries that brought her to see me. I told her that there is nothing wrong with her and that there is nothing wrong with the worries she feels. In fact, her worries serve an important purpose in keeping her safe. AND, sometimes her brain goes into complete worry-mode all the time even when it really, really doesn't need to. This becomes an issue when it affects sleep, or her brain's ability to learn, or being able to feel like herself.

Does she have a void? Yes. In the case of anxiety it is often that the person is unable to feel safe within themselves. There is a void where the anchor of safety used to be. Is there anything wrong with her? No.

Everyone experiences voids in different ways throughout life. It is called being human.

Everyone needs support to navigate various voids. Somehow we've made it a stigma to seek help when emotional voids show up.

If you're contemplating play therapy for your child and it feels uncomfortable to you, think about whether you're comfortable with asking for or receiving support for emotional voids in your life. And maybe you've never done that so it can feel really foreign and vulnerable. And maybe you have and you were made to feel like there was something wrong with you.

Let's normalise getting support for our voids. There is nothing wrong with you, you are simply human.