11 October 2024

It is Mental Health Awareness Month in October.

The Masiviwe project has produced a video highlighting men’s mental health. One of the men interviewed states:

“If you’re a man, you don’t cry. The question is; if you’re going through pain, where do you go? In your childhood you used to cry. Today, where do you take your pain if you don’t cry?”

I highly recommend watching this video and passing it on. They highlight the work of mental health organisations such as SADAG (South African Depression and Anxiety Group). I was particularly pleased to see journalling being spoken of as part of management of painful experiences and emotions – YAY!!

Don’t ignore your mental health, especially to the men out there. Society doesn’t allow you many outlets for processing pain and this is just not right. You are important. You matter. The more healthy men are in every way, the more the whole of society flourishes.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels

You can watch the video HERE .

Heartlines Father’s Matter Project

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Honour (verb) to regard with great respect. To fulfill an obligation or keep an agreement.

I haven’t focused on highlighting the various public holidays and events this year. But today I want to highlight two, Father’s Day and Youth Day.

Father’s Day

The word honour is both a noun and a verb. The verb meaning: to regard with great respect and to fulfill an obligation and keep an agreement.

honour (verb):to regard with great respect

I want to honour the fathers who think they are not ‘getting it right’, but keep trying anyway. Fathers who get attitude from their kids (whether 2 years old or 12 years old or 17 years old), and respond in love anyway. To fathers who feel at a loss, out of their depth, ill equipped but still don’t give up. To every father who continues to try to be the best he can for his children. I honour you this Father’s Day.

honour (verb):to fulfill an obligation and keep an agreement

This is my encouragement to fathers. The parenting work never ends (whether they are 2 or 12 or 17). Whether you planned to be a father or not, this is your obligation (but hopefully your deep joy!). Keep going. Keep learning and growing in your role as a father. If you haven’t felt honoured in a while, I honour you today. You matter.

Youth Month and Youth Day.

Today in South Africa it is Youth Day. This day was borne out of tragedy and loss. On 16 June 1976 just over 500 youth, including school students, were shot by police whilst engaging in a peaceful protest against the apartheid regime. I honour those youth who stood up for what they knew was right, protesting the wrongness of the system that kept them subservient and under-educated.

Each year we remember the pain of the past. Unbelievable trauma and loss. But we also get to celebrate young people today. You can read a goodthingsguy.com article on the importance of empowering youth here.

For some beautiful inspiration of what Youth have done and can do in communities, have a look at this video produced by dlalanathi, a local non-governmental organisation doing amazing work in semi-rural and rural communities. You can find out more about dlalanathi on their website.

Youth of South Africa, I honour you.

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Be involved. Be present. Get a bicycle.

In honour of Father’s Day, here is a brief interview with a handsome young dad (AHYD for short).

Me: What advice would you give other dad’s?

AHYD: Be involved. Be present. Get a bicycle.

Me: What do you mean “be present”?

AHYD: Give your children your time. When you have a limited time budget and limited emotional bandwidth, you have to choose how to spend each of these wisely.

Discussion about emotional bandwidth ensues…

My summary of our discussion: Basically, at the end of a long working day in which there are many demands and much pressure, one can arrive home somewhat emotionally depleted and want nothing more than to lie on the couch watching downhill mountain biking videos. But, that doesn’t help when the children are in need of time and attention. Sometimes one has to put one’s own needs aside in order to be fully present to play and interact while the children are awake.

AHYD playing charades with his children

Back to the interview…

Me: Get a bicycle?

Actually, no, to be honest I didn’t interrogate this part because I know the answer. Get a bicycle means find something you love to do for yourself and do it. This is AHYD’s way of self-care, exercise and getting out there in the world to move freely through the air with speed and replenish his emotional bandwidth.

Post-script: no handsome young dads were harmed in this interview.

Post-post-script: I am married to this handsome young dad. He is truly a great dad. And, yes, we’re both definitely still claiming the “young” bit.

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