Parenting expert
I am not the expert.
I refuse to see myself or label myself as an expert at anything, least of all a parenting expert – except of my own children. And I believe you are a parenting expert when it comes to your own child. Don’t freak out. Let me explain.
Definition of expert: a person who is very knowledgeable about or skilful in a particular area.
For the purposes of my point here I am going to adjust the definition to say an expert is one who has both knowledge and skill.
The fact is that we are each knowledgeable about our own children as we’ve been “studying” them from birth; what they like and dislike, how they interact with others and what their strengths and weaknesses are. More often than not we can read their moods, sometimes their minds!
The skill comes from tried and tested methods of action and reaction in our daily lives as we relate to our children. Sometimes we have honed these skills to be able to get the best response from our children (and respond best to them), sometimes we don’t believe we have any skills, and sometimes we get to the point where we have tried so much, but have come to a skills dead end.
This is often the point at which parents contact me and ask for help. I love working with children, and I love working with parents. I believe as parents that to be able to say we need help is such a wonderful thing. I have been the parent in the position of saying “I don’t know what more to do with my child to help them!”, and reached out for help and it made all the difference.
Play therapy can help to bridge that gap of recognising the need in the child, but feeling like the skills to deal with the issue are non-existent or not working. I love to walk alongside parents in that space. Not because I have all the answers, but because often what is needed is an outsider’s perspective which can see beyond the current circumstances. Along with that perspective, I have years of training and experience in child development, play therapy, trauma work, and emotional health and attachment to name a few.
I love to work with parents in a way that they feel more skilled when we finish the therapy process than when we started.
The definition of expert does not mean “I know everything.” It means one who knows quite a lot and has developed a good amount of skill.
If we apply this definition to parenting; a parenting expert is one who has taken the time to get to know their child as best they can over the developing years, and who is cognisant that new skills are needed at every stage of growth and development. They work to gather skills that enable them and their child to have the best relationship possible, and where they don’t have the skills or want to learn new skills, they reach out for help.
If you’re feeling like you’re in that skills gap, I encourage you to reach out for help. It could make all the difference!
