The ability to respond
23 November 2024
David Whyte, an Irish poet says that the word responsibility means “the ability to respond”. He says that we (adults) have made responsibility a heavy burden; all the things that we have to lug around and take care of, we think about work, home and financial responsibilities. We think about our responsibility towards family and towards our children. In our widely held definition, taking responsibility is work and burden, not an act of love.
We have all these meme’s about “adulting”, they’re funny. But they tend to perpetuate this perception that grown-up life is heavy and onerous, that there is no other way. David Whyte says that no wonder the teen suicide rate is so high; looking towards a future of burden and heaviness is not very hopeful, is it?!
What if the definition of responsibility is not merely something it is your duty to do, an obligation, but is the ability to respond, doesn’t that change a whole lot?! There are things, situations, people every single day that we get to respond to, rather than think of as a burden or obligation.
We don’t always have a great ability to respond, sometimes our energy/resources are at a diminished capacity. This is called being human. When we are aware our capacity to respond is diminished, we can proceed with caution in order to protect our limited capacity, and maybe to find ways to increase capacity by asking for help, or taking a break. We can always work on our ability to respond and try to do better. If we focus on responsibilities being a burden, they just seem to get heavier.
If you think about all the things your regard as your responsibilities and then reframe these by asking yourself what your ability to respond is to each of them, how does that change things for you?
Do you have an ability to respond to this initiative?
At this time of year, we have opportunities to respond to the needs of others in many ways. I am loving thinking of giving as my ability to respond to what I see as a need, rather than a burden. With this framework, I give within my capacity with a generosity of spirit, and not out of obligation.
I walked into my local stationary shop the other day, funnily enough it’s called Local Stationers, and they had a Christmas tree which immediately caught my eye. And then I noticed on the tree were all these tags. Here’s the genius thing they’re doing; each tag has the first name and age of a child and a piece of stationary they will need for school in 2025. You take a tag (or 10) and buy the item on the tag. The items get placed in a box and will ultimately be given to children in a local children’s home in January in time for school.
I love this!! It’s easy and because you have a name and age of a child, you feel a bit of a connection to the person you are buying for. If you’re in the Howick area and have the ability to respond, please do!
Reminder: FREE Journalling Session coming up!!
