The Word Why Made with Cubes with Letters

The Question of Why

3 May 2024 Something that I hear fairly frequently from parents is their frustration at when they ask their child “why” they did this or that, their child is unable to answer them. Or, that every time they ask them “why” they get a different answer. Parents, of course, are really trying to understand what…

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a close up of a structure of a structure

Parenting: It’s about who you are, not what you know

26 January 2024 Parenting is about who you are and how you see yourself, not what you know. Parenting from the heart as opposed to the head. We can listen to as many profound talks as we like, get hold of the best tools and techniques, but unless we move out of our heads and…

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calendar, nature, 2024

Parenting Goals

5 January 2024   Welcome to 2024! I truly hope it is going well for you so far. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you to every person who has sent in query or made contact through the website. For a little while (starting hiccups of the new website), I might have missed a communication…

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Self-compassion for parents

It might be time for a little mid-year check-in. How kind are you being to yourself as a parent? “Every time I read a book about how to be smarter, how not to be sad, how to raise children and be happy and grow old gracefully, I think, “Well, I won’t make those mistakes, I…

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Parenting is as easy as gardening!

I like to garden. That is not to say that I am good at it, or that I actually know what I am doing! But I like to be in the garden. Right now our garden is a much overgrown, tangly, weedy, but beautiful mess. It is a time-consuming but happy challenge for the most…

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Navigating oceans of emotions: Regulate, Relate, Reason

When our emotions are recognised, listened to and responded to with care, we are better able to regulate and then learn how to cope with our emotions. Dr. Bruce Perry writes about a sequence of engagement that is very helpful; Regulate, relate, reason. One day a child arrived home from school, went into his room…

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Emotional Labour

The emotional labour is real. We deal with the emotional labour with what tools we have at our disposal from the metaphorical toolbox we received from our own parents. Nothing prepares you for the emotional labour of having children. Dr. Rinda Blom. I was in a training workshop with Dr. Blom recently when she made…

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The Body keeps the Score

In 2023 I would like to spend a fair amount of blog-space exploring psychological trauma and the impact it has on parenting, relationships and family life. Trauma can be an event, but also a context. A trauma can be once-off (such as a serious car accident), or it can be an ongoing situation (such as…

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Reassurance Seeking: The Quest for Belonging

This blog is for you if you have a child back at school this week who is struggling to settle and is constantly looking to you to reassure them. The human need for love and belonging are so primal and foundational to who we are, when it comes to not having these needs met, we…

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The impossible job

“You try to be a good parent, in every way, but you never know how. It’s not a difficult job. Just impossible.” from Us Against You by Frederik Backman. This quote is from a fictional novel, but I think there is so much truth in it. How often we feel like we’ve gotten to grips…

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